Bowie returns to home planet

David-BowieCitizens of earth unite in sadness this morning as they wake to discover David Bowie has returned to the faraway planet of his birth.

His capsule was blasted back into orbit in the early hours of this morning, with experts sure that his spaceship knows which way to go.

“I’ve had fun being the ambassador to earth on behalf of the freaky aliens” said Bowie, 69 “but I must return to the skies to record my new album”

Just as Bowie was no longer playing the part of Ziggy Stardust or The Thin White Duke, he’s now decided to no longer play the part of a living human being on earth. Fans of the ambiguous lizard man will be experimenting with their gender identity this week in memory of the great man.

Bowie will be fondly remembered by all who listened to his excellent music.

By Samuel Thurston

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